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Things cheaper for the government than accidental children

Following yesterday’s admittedly absurdist mermaid meltdown, today we have some more normal news that probably even sounds a little familiar: unplanned pregnancies cost the government a lot of money!...

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Maggie Gallagher declares homophobes are being “shamed” into silence

Here in our new post-Apocalyptic America, don’t think everything will be completely terrible. Sure, it would have been better if God had just Raptured away all the wingnuts so America could move on...

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Minnesota House morning prayer now just assigned to anything that talks

Speaking of other amazing jokes from God, Minnesota’s Republican House Speaker was forced to apologize after it let this bizarre genetic mistake calling itself a “preacher” onto the House floor to...

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Study: women still attracted to shameful assholes

Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s lawyers just got a present for their “it was consensual sex, come on” defense. From the American Psychological Association journal: Women find happy men less sexually...

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The case for penis liability insurance

The club of Republicans who challenge themselves to entertain the public with a new joke about abortion each week have come up with a pretty good one this time. Rape is like getting a flat tire, said...

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“Beauty is for the logic-impaired” fridge magnets now for sale

This refrigerator magnet is for sale at Forever 21, ladies. Form a line! PRETTY GIRLS CAN DO MATH, scream scream outrage outrage.  Should we be upset? Or should we reflect that it probably doesn’t go...

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Moreno acquitted, jury finds a “rape-free window” of victim intoxication

Ta-da, World’s Creepiest NYPD Officers Kenneth Moreno and Franklin Mata have been magically acquitted of rape charges by the “she wasn’t too drunk to consent but she was too drunk to remember what...

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Canada misses real point of sex consent debate: is she lying?

Canadians are talking about sex today, which still sounds like your grandparents describing how oral sex was in the fifties, but whatever: OTTAWA — The Supreme Court has ruled that an unconscious woman...

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Palin going on 3rd grade American history field trip

Oh, Sarah Palin, you cock tease. This time she’s got everyone ALL WORKED UP because she rented a bus that she plans to drive around on some kind of hillbilly field trip. The tour, the first of what...

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Rolling Thunder Rally did not actually invite Sarah Palin

Remember how during her governorship Sarah Palin could never successfully tell anyone where she was going to be at any given time? That’s still happening! In Sarah Palin’s imaginary snowbilly iceverse,...

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