Things cheaper for the government than accidental children
Following yesterday’s admittedly absurdist mermaid meltdown, today we have some more normal news that probably even sounds a little familiar: unplanned pregnancies cost the government a lot of money!...
View ArticleMaggie Gallagher declares homophobes are being “shamed” into silence
Here in our new post-Apocalyptic America, don’t think everything will be completely terrible. Sure, it would have been better if God had just Raptured away all the wingnuts so America could move on...
View ArticleMinnesota House morning prayer now just assigned to anything that talks
Speaking of other amazing jokes from God, Minnesota’s Republican House Speaker was forced to apologize after it let this bizarre genetic mistake calling itself a “preacher” onto the House floor to...
View ArticleStudy: women still attracted to shameful assholes
Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s lawyers just got a present for their “it was consensual sex, come on” defense. From the American Psychological Association journal: Women find happy men less sexually...
View ArticleThe case for penis liability insurance
The club of Republicans who challenge themselves to entertain the public with a new joke about abortion each week have come up with a pretty good one this time. Rape is like getting a flat tire, said...
View Article“Beauty is for the logic-impaired” fridge magnets now for sale
This refrigerator magnet is for sale at Forever 21, ladies. Form a line! PRETTY GIRLS CAN DO MATH, scream scream outrage outrage. Should we be upset? Or should we reflect that it probably doesn’t go...
View ArticleMoreno acquitted, jury finds a “rape-free window” of victim intoxication
Ta-da, World’s Creepiest NYPD Officers Kenneth Moreno and Franklin Mata have been magically acquitted of rape charges by the “she wasn’t too drunk to consent but she was too drunk to remember what...
View ArticleCanada misses real point of sex consent debate: is she lying?
Canadians are talking about sex today, which still sounds like your grandparents describing how oral sex was in the fifties, but whatever: OTTAWA — The Supreme Court has ruled that an unconscious woman...
View ArticlePalin going on 3rd grade American history field trip
Oh, Sarah Palin, you cock tease. This time she’s got everyone ALL WORKED UP because she rented a bus that she plans to drive around on some kind of hillbilly field trip. The tour, the first of what...
View ArticleRolling Thunder Rally did not actually invite Sarah Palin
Remember how during her governorship Sarah Palin could never successfully tell anyone where she was going to be at any given time? That’s still happening! In Sarah Palin’s imaginary snowbilly iceverse,...
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